Our neighbor Philly Cheese Steak who goes by Phil ’cause that’s his real name is big on duck huntin’. This duck huntin’ season he gave us two ducks. Last year he gave us three. I think he’s starting to like us less.

I thought, Gee we should really give Phil something.

B.N. (before Nora) Bams and his dog Addy were BFFs. TH thought Bams needed to socialize so there I was taking Bams to play with Addy four times a week. At least. It was cute at first, seeing them run around the yard and occasionally you’d be embarrassed when you had to shout, Bams, no humping. But then it got redundant and so I’d try to trick Bams by walking him a different route. But he knew, and he’d stop and pull me toward her direction and I’d be like, Addy’s not home. She’s out to lunch.

Sometimes he would just stop and stare at her house.


Once we got Nora, Bams would usually only go to Addy’s to lie on her grass.

She’d be all up in Bams’s face like, play with me, chase me, I need attention. Give me attention. Like most girls. And Bams would be like, eh.

Nora tried her hardest to get Addy to play with her but female dogs are the real bitches and she wanted nothing to do with Nora.

And then, I think, Phil would try to make Addy feel better by referring to Nora as a he.

Look at the little guy run. He’s full of energy.

In my head, I was like, she’s wearing bows gawddammit.

Then I got annoyed and he got annoyed with us because Bams would no longer perform and we’d only waste his time with no dog play.

But he still gave us ducks and we need to claim our ducks for next year, so I made him a Christmas nuts recipe my friend Kim gave me. So if you still need some edibles you wanna make for someone or just something to nosh on, these are super easy to make and dangerously good. As in, if I didn’t stop eating them we’d have nothing for Phil.





4 cups pecans, almonds or walnuts (or combination)

1 egg white and tbs. water – beat until stiff.

in large ziplock bag mix:

1 cup sugar

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. cinnamon

stir nuts into egg white.water mixture until coated. Add nuts to sugar mix in bag. Close and shake until nuts are covered.

spread coated nuts onto greased cookie sheet. Bake 250 for one hour, turning every 15 minutes. I use a spatchula.


And I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.